Wednesday, July 6, 2011

"They made the belt a butterfly?"

As I watched Raw this past week, with my brother, who has not watched any wrestling for some time, I gained the perspective of a casual fan.

Make no mistake, my brother is not the typical casual fan, he, like me, is a huge "smart" mark, and at one point was a huge fan, but has been so turned off of wrestling as of late, because of the lack of actual wrestling, and to quote Regal, "absolutely diabolical" angles, that he has not watched in quite some time.

As we watched, the Women's, I mean Divas, match was about to take place. Before the match, as is now custom, there was a quick backstage segment, with the Women, I mean Divas, walking to the ring, before the commercial.

It was at this point that he pointed out something, that to me that seemed merely a subtle difference, until I thought about it. As Randy Orton's favorite diva walked out, and held her "Diva's Championship" my brother said something to me that struck me, he questioned laughingly "they made the Women's championship a butterfly?"

I had realized it before, but never put much thought in to it. Yes, they had made a new Women's championship, or atleast renamed it, and made it into the shape of a butterfly. This got me thinking, and I realized that the reshaping of the physical belt, into the shape of a butterfly, was a microcosm of what the woman's division has become in WWE.

Gone, are the days of women that could actual wrestle; such as Trish, Lita, Molly Holly, and others, long gone. There was a time where it mattered whether or not the women could wrestle, and it seems now, that all they are required to do is look pretty, and what does a butterfly do? All it does is look pretty.

Which makes me wonder, was this a conscious decision, made to reflect the division, was it made so as to not insult the women of the past? Or did some jackass just say "uhh yeah make it a butterfly, why not?" In the structured world of WWE, I don't think it was as haphazard as that.

They apparently made an organization decision (despite going PG) to just have the women, I mean Divas, as eye candy. They've begun the practice of hiring models first, and then trying to train them. This, in my estimation began with the Divas search.

Contrary to popular belief, or what WWE programming will have you believe, there are hot women, that can actually wrestle. For the most part, the "Knockouts" of TNA can actually wrestle, at least better than the Divas. There are plenty of female wrestlers on the independent circuit that are terrific wrestlers, *cough* Sara Del Ray *cough*.

It seems as though with the WWE Divas, that wrestling does not even matter at all, if a Diva is hot, they are put on TV, and given a championship. Half of the women on the roster would not even make Stone Cold's cut on Tough Enough.

And, I'd like to think that, their all time favorite match wouldn't be Melina Vs. Alicia Fox....

-Mark X

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Vincent K.iBosh

The year was 1999, ECW had just gotten onto TNN, their first television deal, and were going full steam, as hot as they ever were.

Going into their first national TV deal, the biggest stars ECW had at the time, were their World Champion, Taz, not Tazz whoever that is; and their Tag Team Champions, The Dudley Boys.

ECW at the time was picking up steam like never before, they had a magazine, a video game deal, and their Pay Per Views, were successful.

Taz, was a star, that was completely manufactured by ECW. Built up to be a monster, and given a plethora of monikers, in that monster mold. Monikers such as "The Human Suplex Machine" and things of the like.

Taz, at the time, was ECW's guy, after so many guys had left ECW, Taz stayed loyal.....

Loyal only until, the WWE came calling.

Oddly enough, just as ECW was making a real go at being a competitor to Vincent K. McMahon, he, as he often does, but the K. bosh, on it (you see what I did there).

Vince has claimed in public, on his DVD releases, and in other various places, that he simply wanted Taz, as if he thought Taz would make an impact in the WWE. I have bought a lot of things he has sold, be it merchandise, pay per views, etc. but this is one thing, I don't buy....

More likely than not, Vince saw the threat ECW presented and did what he did to the AWA, take their top stars. If WCW had any top stars, that he didn't already create, he would have taken theirs as well.

He does his business, by absolutely crushing other people until they have nothing left. This is not what bothers me, as I understand business. What bothers me, is the fact that on his DVD's and in other places, he has made a point of saying how he wished he hadn't crushed the territorial system, for the sole fact that now, up and coming wrestlers don't have a place to get over, so that he can then take them.

So, having said that in the past, which was most likely easy to say, because he didn't have an opportunity to do so, since the closure of ECW, the first opportunity of a promotion beginning to gain steam, ROH, the kind of steam ECW was getting in 1999, what is he doing?

Well, the rumor is that the Kings Of Wrestling; Chris Hero, and Claudio Cas...Cas.. Casta...Castagnoli, (don't even act like that is easy to say, you know it's not), are being looked at by WWE.

Hmm...very curious, the WWE, who right now, might as well not even have a Tag Team Championship, because their Tag Team division is non existent, is looking at one of the top tag teams in ROH. A very curious situation.

Are they looking at them to fortify their tag team division?

Are they looking at them for possible singles runs?

Do they just need to get "cast members" for the next season of NXT?

Or, is Vince trying to kill ROH, as they are picking up steam?

What's next, do they sign Davey Richards, shove him in FCW, and re-name him Rich Davidson?

Do they sign Eddie Edwards, pair him with some idiotic guy from FCW that can talk, but can't wrestle, as his manager?

Do they give Charlie Haas so much money that he gives in, again?

ROH prospering, would help the WWE, because if they got large enough to where their wrestlers had national exposure, Vince and the WWE, and the "gladhanding, nonsensical, douche bag yes men" he is surrounded by, could see how they performed, if they got over etc. which is what he says he wished the territories were still around to do.

So, by attempting to crush ROH, which is what he may be doing here, he is hurting himself in the long run, because you can have a product, with a bunch of 'roided up freaks, who can't wrestle, but that will only get you so far.

However, if you do sign the Kings Of Wrestling, or any other ROH stars, please, when I tune into Smackdown a year or so from now, please don't let them be washed up commentators....

Taz has been missing for about 10 years now, while Tazz is adding some color to the old outhouse, down in Florida.

Basically, what I am saying is, don't take them, unless you plan to use them.....

-Mark X

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Bischoff The One Hit Wonder

For the last 20 years in wrestling, one name has been synonymous with both awesome wrestling programming, and terrible garbage, no one wants to watch.....

One name has been at the top of the wrestling world, and the very, very bottom...

He is credited with the advent of the nWo, but yet also has a hand in the steaming pile that is TNA....

He has said that controversy creates cash, well to that I say, so does not putting garbage on TV on a weekly basis.

Eric Bischoff....

Eric Bischoff in the 90's had a very successful wrestling program, with the creation of WCW Monday Nitro, a cable wrestling program, that aired in prime time on Monday nights, an idea he stole.

He had some of the most athletic wrestling matches seen on TV at that time, using wrestlers who first appeared on the main stage in ECW. Showcasing athletic wrestlers, an idea he stole.

Bischoff created his nWo with former WWE superstars, usually performing as the same characters they had in the WWE.

I will say it here, Eric Bischoff is a moron. However, he is smart, smart enough to steal great concepts from other promoters, and to know which ones to use, and which ones, not to use.

He may be a great salesman, and a smooth talker, but when it comes to wrestling, he is not all that bright.

One main problem that bothers me about Eric Bischoff, is the fact that it seems as though he doesn't understand the concept of a heel. From what i've seen, and from a common sense point of a view, a heel's job is to be hated enough to where people want to pay to see you get your ass kicked, JR will agree with this.

That being said, the heel should at some point, usually at the end of an angle, get his ass kicked, to provide closure to the angle. Bischoff's problem is, that in almost every angle, without fail, over the course of his involvement in anything, the heel always comes out the best. When the bad guy always wins, no one cares....

Another thing is, it seems as though right now Hogan is supposed to be a heel, yet all he does is try to get the fans to cheer him? Then they have this heel stable known as immortal, with Gunner, who acts like a face against Anderson? WHAAAT... I understand that Bischoff is not a writer, but he is involved with this, and if he were the genius everyone claims him to be, I would like to think that he would not let this happen...

IT MAKES NO SENSE... But then again, neither does TNA.

Another thing that makes me question him, is the fact that TNA was built on the smart mark audience. The people that were fed up at the time and looking for an alternative. The ex ECW fans, the ROH fans, and fans of indy wrestling, which is where they created their original talent pool from, TNA was built on this audience, and Bischoff comes out publicly, bashing the very audience that TNA was founded on? HUH?

They create this wrestling matters campaign, and change their name, the name may have changed, but the product sure hasn't.

When an episode of TNA begins with Bischoff coming out with the rest of this group of has beens, or never were's,  to a rip off version of the nWo song, it sets the tone for the rest of the show, that it will be garbage.

Bischoff, you were able to sell yourself, and you are a great salesmen, but so is Don West, and he is not the executive producer of anything. Maybe the worst part of the closinf of the AWA, is that you were unleashed on the wrestling world.

Don't get me wrong, the Monday Night Wars, and the run of WCW would not have been possible without you, but enough is enough, produce your shows with Kevin Arnold's brother, and leave the wrestling to the people who give more of a damn about the show, and entertaining people; be it with good matches, or good angles; then getting Hogan over....

Thank You for WCW, and the Monday night wars, but I think it's time to admit that you are a one hit wonder, and no matter how many times you try to re-create the nWo, it will not work....

-Mark X

Weekend Update w/ Mark X

In what has been somewhat of a slow news weekend, this is the Secret Mark, Weekend Update...

This weekend, the CM Punk angle was continued during the live tour in Australia.

At the beginning of the show Michael Cole's favorite ring announcer, Tony Chimel, announced that CM Punk was suspended, but had agreed to fulfill his live event commitments. Which is the same thing WWE ran on their website, probably because fans in Australia would think he wouldn't be there, and they know he is the only one anyone wants to see. Punk then cut a promo dissing the McMahon family,before his mic was cut off, before jobbing to Rey Mysterio.... 

I would love to see this sort of thing continue on TV. Or at least have some sort of fan cam angle to document CM Punk's live event stuff.

Also this weekend Zack Ryder was introduced as the Internet Champion, and even defended it against Primo. He had with him the belt from Z! True Long Island Story.

If they made this a real belt, or at least real in the sense that the FTW belt was real, it would be awesome. If that's all creative will give Zack Ryder, I'll take it, and you know he will run with it.

Butterfly and gumdrop enthusiast Christina from Tough Enough, has re-signed with WWE, she is currently performing in FCW, under the name Caylee Turner. In other news FCW wishes it was OVW.

In news from the dump, Ric Flair and TNA are having some sort of issue with him not appearing at the Brooklyn show, but appearing in the Asbury show. Issues that I'm sure no one cares about, because Flair is washed up, and TNA sucks.


From the, I really, really, want attention department; an independent wrestler, apparently proposed to Octo Mom at a celebrity boxing event; wait, she's a celebrity? wait she's boxing? 

Apparently, upon being dragged away he begged her to marry him, telling her that he was a Paul Heyman guy. Does that work?

More vague news came out about the Heyman, Lesnar, WWE deal. Vague enough to keep everyone guessing...

Finally, Sin Cara received his first loss Friday night, against Christian, will this be the end of his mood lighting during matches? Hopefully, and maybe when the lights are normal, he'll stop botching so much. Or he will just keep botching, because he is Botcho The Magnificent.

This has been Weekend Update...

-Mark X




Saturday, July 2, 2011

Happy Cornette Day


I've decided that here at the secret mark, every Saturday will be Jim Cornette Day.


That means, that each week, on Saturday, I will post something related to the awesomeness that is Jim Cornette.



Feel free to send in Cornette stuff to secretmarkx@yahoo.com....


In this weeks celebration of Jim Cornette, we will have two items.


The first, is his take on CM Punk, from 1wrestling.com:

 (Sounds like he is in on the work...)


And the second is one of my favorites, the infamous Dairy Queen incident:




And now, Cornette shooting on the incident:




Happy Jim Cornette Day...


-Mark X

Thursday, June 30, 2011

A Paul Heyman Guy

Every time I need to be disappointed, I know exactly what to do.

Every time I think  to myself, damn, I need to watch an old episode of WCW Thunder.

Every time these things happen, I know just the right cure...... Impact Wrestling....

This week's fabulous edition came to us with "limited commercial interruption" and from the same venue that every other episode has been from, the cleverly titled "Impact Zone".

We are treated to the shenanigans of Sting , who is for some reason wearing Heath Ledger style Joker face paint, which like most other things in TNA would have made a statement years ago, maybe, but not now. I am now convinced that no one over there knows what year it is....



In this bat sh*t crazy, Bound for Glory tournament, that is essentially just a vehicle to push Crimson, Roode, and Gunner, they have Samoa Joe lose to Dvon, which makes no sense. 



They have Michael Shane, I mean Matt Bentley, go up against Kaval, I mean Senshi, I mean Lowki, and Jimmy Wang Yang, I mean Jimmy Yang, I mean "Flying Elvis" Jimmy Yang. In what was not a bad match, Lowki wins, and advances into another round of this nonsensical tournament, where he must now win again to "earn the right" to have a TNA Contract....


In a triple tag team, elimination match, Tara, Mickie James, and Miss Tessmacher defeat Madison Rayne, Winter and Angelina Love; who is now apparently talking again. 


Jumping around here, Mexican America cuts a promo, that no one cares about, except for the blatant Universal Patrons that have no idea what is going on, and think this is just part of the park....


AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels have a contract signing, that doesn't end in a fracas, but does end with everyone arguing over who started the X Division, which leads to a match made for next week's Thunder, between RVD, Jerry Lynn, AJ, and Daniels... 


Jerry Lynn brings up being the "NEW F'N SHOW" which is a 10 year old gimmick...


And in the main event we have Scott Steiner, who can't move worth a damn, and Sting. Which ends with Sting attempting to put face paint on Steiner, until...Bully Ray, the best named heel in the business, (sarcasm) interferes, which leads to Sting attempting to do it to him, until...Why not, Ken Anderson comes out and gives Sting the Mic Check... Bully Ray continues to beat up Sting and calls out Hulk Hogan....But just then Kurt Angle comes out! Yes We now have, in the ring, four washed up wrestlers in an angle, that no one should care about, and really serves no purpose....

Here's an idea TNA, find a Delorean, put Sting, Steiner, and Hulk into the "Mr. Fusion", get it up to 88 mph, and go back to when you didn't hire Paul Heyman, and then hire him! That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy...


-Mark X



What a d-bag

Not that it is even remotely newsworthy, but Jonny Fairplay the d-bag that lied about his grandma on survivor, and then popped up in TNA and his very annoying wife, who was a contestant on Tough Enough, have apparently split up.

Fairplay being the huge d-bag that he is, had this to say while trying to be clever on his almighty Twitter account:

" Yes, I am separated. Michelle was served with separation papers on Friday. I wish her the best in her future endeavors."


What a d-bag.

-MarkX