A Paul Heyman Guy

Every time I need to be disappointed, I know exactly what to do.

Every time I think  to myself, damn, I need to watch an old episode of WCW Thunder.

Every time these things happen, I know just the right cure...... Impact Wrestling....

This week's fabulous edition came to us with "limited commercial interruption" and from the same venue that every other episode has been from, the cleverly titled "Impact Zone".

We are treated to the shenanigans of Sting , who is for some reason wearing Heath Ledger style Joker face paint, which like most other things in TNA would have made a statement years ago, maybe, but not now. I am now convinced that no one over there knows what year it is....



In this bat sh*t crazy, Bound for Glory tournament, that is essentially just a vehicle to push Crimson, Roode, and Gunner, they have Samoa Joe lose to Dvon, which makes no sense. 


They have Michael Shane, I mean Matt Bentley, go up against Kaval, I mean Senshi, I mean Lowki, and Jimmy Wang Yang, I mean Jimmy Yang, I mean "Flying Elvis" Jimmy Yang. In what was not a bad match, Lowki wins, and advances into another round of this nonsensical tournament, where he must now win again to "earn the right" to have a TNA Contract....


In a triple tag team, elimination match, Tara, Mickie James, and Miss Tessmacher defeat Madison Rayne, Winter and Angelina Love; who is now apparently talking again. 


Jumping around here, Mexican America cuts a promo, that no one cares about, except for the blatant Universal Patrons that have no idea what is going on, and think this is just part of the park....


AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels have a contract signing, that doesn't end in a fracas, but does end with everyone arguing over who started the X Division, which leads to a match made for next week's Thunder, between RVD, Jerry Lynn, AJ, and Daniels... 


Jerry Lynn brings up being the "NEW F'N SHOW" which is a 10 year old gimmick...


And in the main event we have Scott Steiner, who can't move worth a damn, and Sting. Which ends with Sting attempting to put face paint on Steiner, until...Bully Ray, the best named heel in the business, (sarcasm) interferes, which leads to Sting attempting to do it to him, until...Why not, Ken Anderson comes out and gives Sting the Mic Check... Bully Ray continues to beat up Sting and calls out Hulk Hogan....But just then Kurt Angle comes out! Yes We now have, in the ring, four washed up wrestlers in an angle, that no one should care about, and really serves no purpose....

Here's an idea TNA, find a Delorean, put Sting, Steiner, and Hulk into the "Mr. Fusion", get it up to 88 mph, and go back to when you didn't hire Paul Heyman, and then hire him! That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy...


-Mark X